Most of the time, as people of spirit we are led, through visions, dreams and conversations with our ancestors. You might be seating minding your own business, and a message will come through about yourself, a client, a family member or partner. You might be on the phone and a message will come through about someone else, not the one you are on the phone with….go figure it’s time to end the call and engage. Dude, you might be literally anywhere, taking a bath, no 2, brushing your teeth……absolutely no boundaries with these people he he he he , nnaaah it hasn’t happened during the not observing social distance instance, thank the heavens !! This simply means we carry our office with, no tea break, smoke break, drinking session, me time or any of that. In fact those might actually induce the conversations
Generally this is welcomed all round, I mean you find people walking behind you in a clothing store or supermarket, greeting and just being around you, seeking you to notice them, feel their vibe so to speak. In most instances some will come and confess “ Hayi gogo, I’ve been hoping you’ll at some point see something about me, maybe get a message nyana, akho lutho olubonayo vele ngam ?” he he he he. Does it work that way though, granted I just said we get messages all the time, but should it be that i Sangoma must dial up your network every time you pass by ? Will it be seen as intervention, intrusion or delusion ? And to what point is it welcome?
So there’s this meme of a boy and a girl communicating via phone messaging. The guy asks the girl if she truly is i Sangoma, and the girl responds “ proudly” I looked at this picture and it reminded me of the many times I saw worry on people’s faces wanting to make sure if really I can see their souls just by standing next to them. It’s a reality, it is an invasion of privacy based on how it is handled.
Abusing the office, simply means an invasion of someone’s thoughts, character or instance through your gift without being invited to. This is my partner’s favourite topic. You should have seen his face light up when I mentioned I’ll be writing about it. I had to ask “ Would you like to write it on my behalf Bhabha?” . “ No, no love not at all, but don’t forget to mention the leaving in the future and missing out on the now fact” . Rolling my eyes of course I knew that was a jab at me. Understandably so as he is subjected to this so many times, probably needs counselling…..nci nci nci (shaking my head). Is that the price to pay though for having a partner ye Sangoma ?
I doubt it is any fun for even i Sangoma to be receiving messages randomly especially about your partner. Imagine You’re sleeping and there comes that vision, he’s standing at the corner doing what seems like uyashela. That time you can see clearly the girl, the street corner, the smiles on their faces. Sometimes you can’t really hear the conversation. All hell breaks lose at 3:30 Am in the morning, “ Vuka, vuka sikhuleme. Who is the girl you were standing with at the corner? Uyajola andithi “ Lamula baba! You’ve just snatched his sleep away over something that actually might be futuristic. It might have been an innocent conversation, that got caught by idlozi eli no laka and saw it fit to share with you during your sleep.
It goes completely wrong if it hasn’t happened yet because there we are now slamdunk in the middle of 3:30 AM quarrel traffic. Having an argument that will spoil the entire day over something that might or might not have happened yet. Even worse if it hasn’t, and the partner comes across this particular person you described in your dream the next day or so, they are spooked for life adding one more reason to drift apart.
Here’s another, you feel a vibe as a spirit person, you know it’s about your partner, you inquire and don’t get the answers immediately but you have suspicions. Meaning you really must search yourself about truth and lies, and these can put one completely out of character. Bottom line, you carry that emotion with you until that matter is resolved. In the meantime though, what happens ? Relationships fall apart. They fall apart because one partner is caught up in the future somewhere trying to make sense of all kinds of messages. Leaving in fear of a coming heartache and completely suspicious and over analysing every deed and word coming from the other, causing unnecessary misery. Completely missing out on the now, working themselves up to a depressive state that could kill them before the 10 years heartache saga.
I doubt it is any fun for your gifted partner or anyone for that matter to be going through such. We all want happy thoughts with sunshine and roses and promises of forever with our partners, but it is sadly not always so. This is why relationships in the sangoma world are hard work, we most often get trapped in our thoughts dissecting incoming trying to manage outgoing. Not only just romantic relationships, friendships and family alike, making your circle of people if lucky to have, grow smaller by acquaintance. As a child of spirit you see where you probably shouldn’t see to maintain and keep relationships, and if not balanced they fall through the cracks.
This abusing the office term I heard from a good friend and colleague of mine in the spirit profession, when I called her up around midnight to say I just need to talk. I was obviously frustrated and needed someone who would not prescribe anti-depressants or call me crazy. I was actually expecting her to say “ Yah maan, you are right to be frustrated, because vele you do see” Much to my education, she said “ You are wrong gogo. Why are you abusing the office ? You must learn to switch off”. She says, “ Kgalemela koko, tell her she’s messing up your love life and you need to live as well in now for you as much as you live for them.
It’s a rock and a hard place, because logic would say, koko wants to warn you about future heartbreak so you can prepare for it. It adds to the wound if one has been burned before.Only challenge is, koko does not say when. It could be in 10 years for all you know. And there you are stuck with the emotion from 10 years in the future , ruining the now. Do I heed koko’s warning or not ? Thoughts about what if then I am already so invested in this relationship in 10 years’ time, that a breakup tears me apart? So then maybe I should break-up now while it’s still early to save myself hectic pain to come ?
Kwaze kwanzima ke. How do you even start explaining to your partner that, you dude are going to be hurting me in 10 years time, without sounding paranoid. Even worse if your partner is also of spirit ( Lamula baba!!) getting messages of his own about you….he he he he what a circus !Thank the gods a bo gogo might not have timing, but they are kind. I am blessed with a calm spirited partner ( please can he not read this ) Who in most cases when I go off the hinges, gently reminds me “ yazi mina ndiya ku thanda mtuwam”. That is not a promise of forever as I would want, but a reminder from him that,” I am here now.”
Through all the hectic we go through as amaNgoma, it is very easy to forget the now. Dedicate your life to your ancestors, giving readings and facilitating healing. Your mind is always woke, always connected, always seeking solutions from the other world. The expectation is for you to always dial up to all networks, so you push yourself. It is a brilliant feeling being connected and you wouldn’t want to say hhooooogaaiii, enough. Why, because it’s nice to have almost all the answers.
Isn’t it wonderful as well that while you’re doing it, nobody stops you to say “ careful, you’re forgetting the now”. It takes it’s tall on the kids, the husbands, the wives, the family, because in essence, no one’s secrets are safe is the popular believe. It is nice when the fruits of your wokeness are being enjoyed, but only when it does not interfere with life as know in the now, then it become a hindrance. A switch you need to switch on and off, how fair is life.
Abusing the office, is it Intervention, Intrusion or delusion ?
It is intervention when you’re on the phone with someone, and in one ear you are listening to a conversation almost convinced, while on the other ear you can hear messages saying “ uyaxoka, baleka” he he he it’s saving you run. It is intervention when you come across someone and you get a message to tell them, the person they are mourning says he/she is fine and to stop crying because they still love them. It is intervention when, you are told to warn someone to no do something, because it will be the last thing they do.
It is intrusion when you are delivering all these messages same as above, but are not received well by the recipient. Either because they are not ready to hear it, knows it but wants to unknown it, or just feel like you are being forward and anyway who asked you.
It becomes a delusion when you are relaying all these messages without tact. Without tact, you might end up scaring the recipient and they look at you like you are delusional, without tact the message might get distorted and be received as paranoia from your side, without tact the message may be seen as ……….Yes you’re right, abusing the office.
So who then gets to decide ? See it is all a matter of wisdom, wisdom to know when, how and with whom. We are born with the gift, and it manifests over time. During this time we learn to apply balance over all aspects of our lives, and trust me it may take what seems like forever. For some of us, idlozi teaches us through experience and experiment, uzotsha qala before you learn. It gets better over the years as you learn the tricks of the trait.
In the meantime though, as we continue to seek the guidance and wisdom of those who lead us…
Dear Bhabha, ndiya ku thandi nami yazi
