A Xhosa idiom meaning you do not lose who you are or what you represent only because you are suffering a loss/ feel unfulfilled or have been cheated out of something.
Let me first take this opportunity to confess, maybe put a disclaimer out there…..I was raised in a Christian home, to a point where I was ordained as an Anglican church lay minister, at home we still believe in right of passage being baptism and imbeleko combined, as one cannot exist without the other. Uzu qonde sana how deep this Christianity goes in me, my partner went to bible school in preparation of meeting me ! Don’t tell him I said that ssshhhh!
I put all this out there to vouch for me that, andimbanga kangako yazi……..I am a good girl.
Now I am glad we got all of that out of the way, I need you to think broadly, out of the box kind of thing neh.. So I came across this clip on WhatsApp, an interview on YFM and this guy said “the destiny of a child will not change just because the father is not there”, powerful loaded statement. He went on to say “ even Jesus’s story is not told to the fullest. We all know that god was a remote father but Jesus went on to be great in the books of history”. The part that got me the most is him saying “ uJesu e hamba phezu kwa manzi kanje, a ze abethelelwe emnqamlezweni yi ndaba ye si bongo, le ngane I hlutshwa yi ndaba ye surname” . Loosly translated it means all of Jesus’s challenges, even after screaming Eloyi eloyi he continued to be crucified was due to him not using his rightful surname, translating to misalignment with his ancestors.
For those who are awake we know that misalignment bring about hardships, struggles, misfortunes endless challenges, hurdles and whoops you will need to jump through before achieving. Achieve you will, but no achievement will come easy, and even when you have…just when you think you’ve arrived then it all falls apart and you must start from the beginning….
There are two parts to this conversation that got me thinking, 1. You will not cease who you must be, only because daddy was absent. Yes you will have challenges, but your greatness is dependant on effort and alignment. 2 This male absenteeism is deeply rooted, all the way from the creator himself. Sana kaloku u the Father wa nyengeza u Maria ne sisu, wa so sulela ku Joseph. Aka yeka apho, u the Father went on to make a rule about the first fruits having to be an offering to him. …..And the plot thickens, yes it was his way of covering up that first mishap kaloku yo mithisa umfazi womntu…..yhuuuuu ma ndo yiswe!
Thing is u Fathers didn’t realise the generational curse he was causing, woman passing kids off to fathers who are not theirs, man running away from their parental obligation, kids running away from homes ending up as street kids…yes Jesus rarely stayed home kaloku, as well as marriages being so hard to keep…. yes because there is this underlying anger in man of being made a fool during the people. If we bring it back to the African ways, thina sizwe sa ka ntu we believe in responsibility and ownership. Our clever ancestors saw this coming and they made a counter rule yoba imvelaphi yomntwana I balulekile, simply put it is imperative to know your origin/ foundation and they derived ways of aligning kids to their parentals. They could not let u Fathers kaloku get away with such destruction.
It’s worse sana uba, these absent parentals take on the nature ka Fathers and haunt you in your dreams and demand to be known and acknowledged….qwidi qwidi you must walk up the mountain or go to the veld u yo phahla to derive a connection with them. It now becomes your problem as the child to seek them….wait doesn’t that remind you of a scripture Matthew 7:7 seek and you shall find? He ha ke u Fathers this is deep! Kakade why must his laws be so enslaving….. knock and it shall be opened, ask and it shall be given, why can’t it just be yours njeeee ke because he has the power to just give, wouldn’t that just be the greatest display of love! Kodwa ma ka ncengwe qala….typical behaviour of a guilty person covering up…(rolling my eyes).
Now that such truths have been discovered, what do we do…..Let’s start from the beginning. We need to align the Father to the son properly ngo kwe sintu. Ma ku hlanjululwe e la dlozi li ngu Fathers, yes we need to cleanse the Father. This is where we all cooperate for the greater good of the nation. Let all those who say our father who art in heaven gather at a central place for a cleansing ceremony. Yes we are fixing the nation to achive;
- Claiming back active present parenting _ kaloku the point of departure for all men is to run as soon as there is a pregnancy i.e. Fathers saying the child is Joseph’s
- Claiming back harmonious loving marriages_ dealing with the underlying anger and feeling of betrayal in men as well as the blind obligation to stay in marriages they are not happy in i.e. Joseph shame man
- Relinquishing ama hands ball / amadjasi i.e. the need for DNA tests_we are ending the trend in woman to pass on kids to man who are not theirs for the sake of saving face
- Most importantly returning Africans to Africa
This as I see it is just the beginning of our awakening, see it as you will there is a true story behind the bible. I mean, we don’t even know what really happened ngo Satan, who is his mom, maybe he was passed on to Fathers as his own and DNA test later proved he was not, thus the abandonment to hell?
He he he he the plot thickens…..that is a story for another day.